Over the past couple of weeks (read months), I have talked a lot about our sweet love story. From our not so cute “meet cute,” to our falling in love, to each of us figuring out the other was their one, to the day he got down on one knee. I love our love story, it is my favorite one by far and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with my sweet man. But before I can do that, we have to plan that wedding thing. Lol.
I will start the rest of this post my saying that I am a planner. I love a good spreadsheet and to do list. So, I was excited to plan our wedding but also a bit nervous with how many moving pieces go into planning a wedding! I am SO excited to share how we are going about all of the planning with y’all! Up this week, what we did first before we got into the planning!
There are two conversations that my fiancé, Riley, and I had right around the time we got engaged and I am SO happy that we had each of them. At the time, these topics just came up naturally for us, but it has proved to be so useful that we did. The first conversation was about our future/life together and the second was about the wedding. Even though regularly talk about our future, we wanted to make sure we were on the same page when it came to the details.
CONVERSATION 1 – OUR LIFE TOGETHER.
Just before we got engaged we had this big talk about our future; about kids, where we wanted to live, budgeting, chores and a whole lot more. I will admit, it felt serious and a little funny at the time. These were all things we had discussed separately before, but we had never sat down and talked through everything at once. It ended up being so nice when talking to family, knowing we were on the same page. Here are a couple of the major topics that I would highly recommend.
Location. Riley is originally from Washington but lived in Idaho for 10 years and I am from California originally then lived in Tennessee. I think my family has always been secretly rooting for me to come back to California, so this was actually a pretty significant discussion. Ultimately, we both agreed that we love where we live and cannot really imagine ourselves living anywhere else. So, Seattle it is for us. We both agreed to stay open in the event that the opportunity of a lifetime became available for either of us, but if we can control it we want to stay where we are. Since this conversation, we bought the cutest little house (post to come!) and we can’t really imagine leaving it!
Kids. This one probably seems a bit obvious. Months before this discussion, we had both agreed that we wanted kids but had kind of left it at that. We didn’t talk timeline or number or anything remotely specific. I know kids aren’t something you can plan out too specifically, but we did come to an agreement on three things.
One, when we wanted to have kids. We ultimately decided we wanted to wait five-ish years so we can enjoy being young and married before we bring a little one into our home. Two, how many kids we ideally wanted to have. This was the only place we didn’t 100% agree. Ultimately we were able to agree on roughly how many we wanted to have and that we wanted to adopt at least one from local foster care. I can do a full post on why this is if you all want. Let me know in the comments if you do!
And honestly, this was the easiest conversation ever because we basically wanted the same things. These three things we discussed and made some loose decisions on have proved to be such a life saver. We found that, mostly with family, within five minutes of people congratulating us on the engagement and asking about the wedding they are asking us about kiddos. It has felt good to be on the same page and be able to feel confident in the answers we are giving.
Budgeting. This was another big conversation and one that can be uncomfortable. Luckily, the two of us are on the same page that buying a house is our #1 priority outside of planning a wedding. Since this conversation we ended up buying a great little place. You can read more about that in my recent Life Lately post. So the rest of our conversation surrounding finances was done with that in mind. We both agreed to some behaviors we would reign in (eating out and random Amazon purchases) and some behaviors we would focus on (paying off my student loans and saving for the future). We also decided it would be best for one of us to be the “book keeper” for the family and keep track of everything (me). I will talk a bit more about how I do this in a future post!
CONVERSATION 2 – THE WEDDING.
Now on to conversation two – the wedding. Admittedly, this was the more fun conversation of the two. Again, I am so glad we did talk through the wedding to make sure we were on the same page about things. There were three main things we talked about.
Atmosphere. Before we got into any of the specifics, any of the details, we talked about how we wanted to feel and what we wanted our guests to feel at our wedding. I know this may sound odd, but it really has helped us make decisions about everything from menu to music. We talked through this a lot and ultimately decided on a few key descriptors that we would go back to when making decisions.
Priorities. There are SO many factors that go into a wedding. The flow of the ceremony, flowers, music, attire, food and so many other little details! We knew we could not have it all. So, we each decide on what our top three priorities were then compared notes. Luckily, 2/3 matched and Riley only had two priorities. So, he agreed to let my third priority be our third priority (lol). Our priorities ended up being flow of the day, flowers and food. So as we started budgeting, flowers and food were where we put our largest portion of funds. Flow was, luckily, something we could do for free!
General Details. The last thing we talked about was general details. What area did we want to have it in. Indoor or outdoor. What time of day. Things like that. It was nice because even though we don’t have every detail figured out, we have some general information to give to people if/when they ask (which my family definitely did!).
So there you have it! My first true wedding post. Over the next few weeks I will be talking about everything from details, to inspiration boards, to dress shopping to what I would have done differently. Until next time, friends… CMB