I hope everyone has enjoyed the wedding posts so far. We started by talking through priorities and figuring out what you want your wedding to be. Then we talked about the wedding planning process. That was one of my favorite post to write as I am such a little planner. Now, I want to talk about go into more detail and talk through some of the mechanics of some aspects of the wedding. First up is the wedding party.
Your wedding party ends up being a huge part of your big day and the events leading up to that day. We were so lucky to have a great wedding party that was incredibly supportive along the way. Because a majority of our party had to come in from out of town , we tried to to make things as easy on them as possible. So don’t take everything I say as absolutely necessary (lol).
Wedding Party Size & Selection: Wedding party size is going to be something that is incredibly personal to the couple. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to parties of every side. A huge wedding party means no one is left out, but is also going to be a lot to wrangle and can be a larger strain on the couple financially. A smaller party can be more intimate and cost effective, but can also lead to hurt feelings if there are people that are left out and not as many people to help throughout the process. If you are struggling to come up with the size of the party you want, work through the worksheet that’s below. It can help you and your partner come to a decision on party size.
Next will be deciding who will be in your party. If you work through the above worksheet, you will have some ideas written down! At the end of the day, you will want to really think about who you want to have with you on your wedding day. Who would you be sad to not have there? Who will support you and be there for you? Who has always been there for you? Who will make your day more fun? Once you have figured out who will be in your party, make sure to all of their contact information in one place!
Who Pays for What: This can be one of the most confusing things to work through because everything out there says something different. I think the differences come down to culture, family norms, norms within a friend group and the specific perspective of the person writing it. At the end of the day, it is up to you and your partner what you feel comfortable and are able to pay for. You can use the below worksheet to work through what you are comfortable paying for! Most of our wedding party had to travel in for our wedding, so we ended up paying for a little more than most. We really wanted to do something nice for all of those that had to travel in!
Wedding Party Attire: Once you have decided who you want in your wedding party and what you will be paying for, you can start focusing on the fun things! Like what they will wear on wedding day. What you choose to have your wedding party wear can really set the stage for the feeling and theme of the wedding. They will likely be dressed in your color scheme, furthering that. They will also likely be an example of how you want others to dress. If you are having a black tie wedding, that is what your wedding party will be in. If you are having a more casual wedding, the guys may not wear jackets and the gals may be in short dresses. You can also have some fun with shoes and accessories if you want to! You will probably bring along a few of the bridesmaids or groomsmen to make the final selection, but having a rough idea of what you want is definitely a good idea. This can also allow you to envision the whole look, including shoes and accessories, even if you won’t be picking out a few of those items specifically.
Communication: In my opinion, this is one of the most important things to focus on with your wedding party. No one likes to feel like they are left out or have no idea what is going on. You don’t necessarily need to email or text your wedding party every week, but providing regular communication/check-ins can be helpful. You can consider following schedule to send updates to your wedding party:
- 1 year before (ish): Send an introduction email to the wedding party. Introduce everyone and make sure they have any relevant dates (wedding, rehearsal dinner, bridal/wedding shower, etc.)
- 9 months before (ish): Send any new updates (i.e. location of events, hotel accommodations, bachelor/bachelorette party, etc.) and information what what attire they will for the wedding day.
- 6 months before (ish): Check and make sure that people have ordered their dress/tux. Send final dates for bridal/wedding shower and bachelor/bachelorette party. Send any other relevant updates.
- 3 months before (ish): Send any relevant updates. Send information on the events that will happen during the wedding weekend. Send any last minute details on attire for the day of.
- 1-2 weeks before: Send any final updates and information that will be needed. Send a schedule for the wedding weekend so folks know where they need to be and when. Consider sending this in a word document so the wedding party can share it with significant others or dates if needed.
Wedding Party Gifts: This was the hardest thing for Riley and I to figure out! I scoured so many websites and blogs looking for good ideas, but couldn’t find anything that really seemed right. We wanted something that would be meaningful, but wouldn’t be something that that would be thrown away in a year or two. I think we accomplished our mission, but our wedding party could disagree (lol). I ultimately decided to get my gals a necklace from Kendra Scott (they all wore them to the wedding) and Riley got his guys two whiskey glasses and a nice bottle of whiskey for them to share the night before the wedding. This is what worked for us and I thought it was a good way to approach this. I am going to do a full post next week on wedding party gift ideas! So look out for that!
I am LOVING this wedding series. So fun to write and create all of the graphics for. What other posts would you all like to see? I am feeling like I want to write some additional posts that I had planning. Leave it in the comments below! Until next time, friends… CML