A few days ago I posted the most personal post I have ever written. In reality it has been a couple of weeks since I finished writing and editing the post and it took me another couple of weeks to finally post it. All in all, it has been a strange few months. Not only because of this news, but because of everything that has been going on.

Over the past few weeks, I have really been focusing on my health and evaluating the decisions I am making as I make them. Admittedly having extra time in my day has made this a bit easier and has nevertheless been insightful. I have found that I keep asking myself the same questions over and over again. They have helped me make better decisions that I may have in the past. I wanted to share what those are for context.

Am I actually hungry? This may sound incredibly simple, but is actually something that I have to think about when I feel hunger cues. Sometimes, yes I am hungry. However, there are other times I am actually just bored, upset, sad, frustrated, etc. In the past I have used food for two purposes other than nourishing my body. First, I was bored. Instead of finding something productive or creative to do, I would snack. The other, would be because I was feeling a heightened emotion. I would get upset and I would eat. I would feel sad, so I would eat. So on and so forth. This is by no means a healthy coping mechanism or healthy for my body. So for the past few weeks I have been trying to ask myself why I am feeling hungry. If it is actually because I am hungry and haven’t eaten in some time, then I will make a meal or have a snack. If it is because I am sitting around and bored or because something has upset me, I try to find a different way to work through that.

What am I really hungry for? I had gotten in a bad habit of just eating whatever junk food I want whenever I wanted. The junk food would never fully film me up or really satiate my hunger. Instead it was a placeholder or something that would make me feel full for a moment. I have been trying to be more mindful of my food choices and find things that will actually fill me up and mentally satiate my hunger.

Why am I resisting exercise? I love going for walks and bike rides or doing exercise classes like yoga. So why did I keep finding myself put off exercise or make an excuse not to do it at all? I think I built exercise up so much in my mind that it made it undesirable. In my head it wasn’t just the exercising, but the time to get there, the time to get home, the showering afterward etc. None of these things are a big deal, but for some reason they get worked up in my mind. I have been trying to remind myself of the reality of the things I build up so much. I also try to remind myself that it is only 60 minutes. I can either use that time to exercise or spend it on my phone.

All in all I have been trying to focus in on a couple of key points each day. This helps me take things one day at a time, but also have some structure to my approach. First, my goal is to walk for 60 minutes each day. This can be all at once or broken up into multiple walks, but hopefully adds up to 60 minutes total. Next is to be mindful of the meals and foods that I am eating. I try not to take this to an extreme, but I do try to eat foods that are healthy for my body that will power it throughout the day. Last, I aim to give myself grace when I am feeling off or don’t make the best choice I could. My hope is that ย by narrowing in on these things, I will be able to make long term positive changes.

I said in my last post about this that this will be a long journey. I will have stumbles along the way. Days that feel like failures and others that feel like overwhelming successes. I will continue to take this one day at a time. I will continue to give myself grace where needed. In the long run, I believe I will be better for it. Until next time, friends… CML

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